Just last week he finished up his last session of spring hockey, and of course I was a blubbering idiot every time I thought about it. He had his last time being at Miss Carla's to play with other young kids last week, and that was a place that I'd been taking him for the last 5 years. Add to it that he has 3 more days of preschool, followed by his picnic/graduation next week, and I'm a mess.
I know that it's not like he's moving away or even will forget about me. But I'm the first person to admit that sometimes I have an unhealthy relationship with him. I tend to hold J a little closer than I probably should. I had a smaller bond with Riley, mainly because I went back to work after she was 3 months old. I did have one extra day at home per week with her until she was about 15 months old, but Jeremy and I have been together from the very beginning. Thanks to him (and Phil), I was able to be at home full-time once J was born. He never went to daycare. He was my shopping buddy, my park companion, my playmate, for lack of better words.
I took J to get his hair cut on Monday, and as he sat in the chair, I thought about how grown up he is. I used to carry him on my hip wherever we went. He would put his head on my shoulder and play with my hair. His first word was "mama," and he still looks to me for approval and to play with him. But he's growing up and turning into a talented, athletic little guy, and of course I'm proud of him.
When Riley started kindergarten, I was sad but I never once doubted that she wasn't ready. I know J is ready, too, but part of me wishes it was half-day kindy. Maybe more so for me than for him. So many of the preschool moms are excited for their kids to start kindergarten, and although I am excited for all that he will learn, I will miss my companion. I know both of us will be fine without the other; after all, life is about changes.
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