Jeremy Unplugged

I think around age 3 is when words/sentences come out of kids' mouths and make you laugh. It makes for some interesting conversations, but mainly it just makes me laugh. So I thought I'd share a few:

Last Thursday, like most Thursdays, the little guy and I headed to the library. After we picked out more books and movies and did the festive Halloween craft, we went over to Trader Joe's. I love that store. Anyway, the store has a fun game for little kids in that they hide a stuffed animal turtle named Shelly. She's somewhere in the store and the kids have to try to find her. It makes the shopping experience enjoyable (although both kids have always loved going shopping with me, for some reason). Sometimes we need assistance from the workers as to Shelly's whereabouts, which we did this time. After being pointed in the right direction, Jeremy found her.

The kids then tell the cashier where Shelly is and the kids receive an organic fruit snack. Not too shabby. So Jeremy tells the cashier he found Shelly. The cashier asks where she was. To which Jeremy replied:

"Shelly was bringing home some wine."

Sounds like my kind of turtle.

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Last Friday I volunteered to help out at Jeremy's school. Every third Friday they do "Mystery Reader" day where a relative comes in to read stories to the class. The key is to not tell the kids beforehand. The teachers needed someone that morning (usually there's a sign-up sheet), and I figured I could spend 15 minutes doing it.

I arrived at 11:30, and the teachers ushered me in. All the kids were sitting on the carpet, waiting attentively. I come in and all the kids are looking at me. The teachers said someone's mom is here to read some stories. I look right at Jeremy and I said, "Who am I?"

Deadpanned, he looked at me and said, "You're you."

How can you argue with that?

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Yesterday we finally took the kids to the pumpkin patch (I blame the cruddy weather and Jeremy's nasty cold--more on that to come), and it was a tad muddy. When we got home, Riley socks were wet and her pants damp from the mud. Jeremy was upstairs in his room, and he wanted Riley to come into his room. She told him, "Let me put some clothes on."

I heard him reply, "Yeah, I don't want any naked girls in my room."

You better believe it, Buddy.