Where Does the Time Go?

The days seem to go by faster and faster. Some days I relish the idea and cannot wait for what's in store for the next. Other days I want to hold on to that moment, willing it to stay for awhile.

This morning, after taking the kids to the bus stop, I walked back with our neighbor's father and our neighbor's kid (the parents were both at work), The little girl is 3, and she has literally grown up before our eyes. I asked her if I could stick her in my pocket, to which she replied, "I'm too big." 

And then yesterday marked the 1-year anniversary since a friend of mine from high school's sister's 2-year old. suddenly died (did you follow that?). The dad of the little boy has been blogging for most of the year, trying to wrestle with his grief. All his posts bring me to tears, so be forewarned if you want to check it out here.

Anyway, I oftentimes find that I wrestle with feelings of longing. Longing to hold on to my kids a little tighter. Longing for the days when the kids were littler. Listen to me--my kids are only 8 and 5, but to me, I fell like those toddler years were so long ago. As kids grow up, they gain more independence, which, in the end is all we can ask for as parents. But with that independence comes needing me a little less.

I have a hard time accepting change. I don't know if I've always been that way (those who have known me longer may know the answer), but I think it's become even more prevalent since having kids. You are basically watching your children grow up right before your eyes.

And I don't know if it was kismet, but I received an email this morning from a website I wasn't familiar with. The company asked me to click a link to let it know if I still wanted to keep my videos on its site.

Videos?


I was intrigued. And I viewed the video, which I honestly have no memory of ever making, and I cried. Gosh, 2.5 years ago isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things, but look how young the kids look! The flood gates opened. You can tell how much Riley adores her brother. You can see how much Jeremy loves food and how we dressed him up like a girl. You can see how happy Casey makes my brother. And you can see just how much my parents love being grandparents.

Yes, I do believe I'll keep that video around for a bit. If only to remind me that life flies by in an instant.

Check it out here.