Parental Worries

This time last week we learned about the horror involved with the Connecticut school shooting. I admit, when I first heard that some people were shot at a school out east, I didn't think too much of it. In hindsight, how horrible does that sound that hearing of a school shooting doesn't immediately fill us with worry?

But then as I was watching the 11 AM news, the reports coming in were horrifying. I was riveted to the television and couldn't believe what I was hearing. And perhaps the scariest part was hearing that an entire classroom of little kids was unaccounted for. Forgive me for the typical reaction and overused phrase, but that is every parents' worst nightmare.

I broke into tears. Those innocent children lost their lives at a school, which is supposed to be a happy place, full of friends and educators who care for those children like they were their own. Just thinking about what they endured still chokes me up, especially because Jeremy is the age of those 20 children who lost their lives.

I remember where I was when Columbine happened. I was at work, and I remember catching it on the Internet (what can I say--I was a bored editorial assistant back in 1999), and I kept reading that the body count increased every time I hit the "refresh" button. Although I was just a year out of college, the shootings didn't affect me the way Newtown's did.

And I know full well the reason why: it's because I now have children. I pray that I will never know the feeling of losing a child, but we never know what can happen. I joke with the women at the bus stop that I wish we could keep our children in a little bubble so the troubles of the world won't touch them. Whether it's the creepy-looking van driving through the neighborhood that worries parents or the kids on the bus who bully others or heaven forbid something more tragic. 

There are times when I think having young kids is so draining, but I know life will only get more complex and worries will only grow bigger. Just wait until the kids are off on their own with their friends, driving their cars, or even doing things late in the evening all the while not under my careful eye.

I've tried to not read so much about the tragedy in Connecticut, only for my own sanity. We did broach the subject with the kids the Sunday after it happened, because I feared they would hear something about it. (And they did--at church of all places!) But we gave them a vague reference about it saying that something bad happened in a school in Connecticut, but everything is fine out here and you have nothing to worry about. I did  say if they had questions about it, I'd rather they talk to me. Neither kid did, and I don't believe the schools have said anything to the kids directly. Jeremy's teacher said nothing was said in hers, although Riley said her class now locks the door whenever they're in the room.

I'm grateful for all that the schools do, from not overly worrying the kids to practicing Code Red drills. Although I believe Riley knows what the drills are for, Jeremy insists that they're for when a stranger enters the school or there's a snake on the loose.

 My sweet cherubs sleeping. 
They are my most precious gift ever.

 

But on a more serious note, my kids are my most precious gift, and I'm sure most parents say the same thing about their own. I grieve for the parents who lost their dear children and those whose family members were teachers and educators, and I pray that they get through the holidays the best they know how. The few stories that I've read take my breath away, and every time I watch this video, I'm moved to tears.

If you haven't done so already, hug your kids a little tighter, tell your family that you love them, and be grateful for every day. Because I'm sure all those family members out in Connecticut would give anything to have just one more day, just one more hour to do that to their own.