2012 Year in Review

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before? I volunteered to be secretary of the PTA. I wanted to get more involved, and boy have I! It's been eye-opening to say the least, and it has given me tons of headaches, but I believe in being pro-active for your kids. And this is definitely one way of doing it.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't keep them, but I did say that I wanted to run a 5K this year and run the whole thing. I'm proud to say that I completed that task in early September.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! I have another nephew, Jack Calvin, who was born on June 18. I got to visit him when he was brand new! I also had 2 very good friends have babies, one Travis born in March and Charlotte was born in September.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thankfully.

5. What places did you visit? No real trips for us this year other than two trips up to Green Bay.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? Just the same as last year, more date nights with the husband.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? June 18 when my nephew arrived.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I actually stuck to my guns and said I would begin to declutter our house. I've even begun selling things on eBay and was completely surprised when a pair of shoes I had sold for more than $100!

9. What was your biggest failure? Getting let go from the freelancing gig was a real blow to my ego. I know the Internet market has changed a lot since I started freelancing, and it's obviously much different than working for a brick and mortar place, but it still was rough.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope, thankfully.
11. What was the best thing you bought? Not sure on that one.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My husband. He's had a very rough year, and the amount of love and compassion he has is amazing. It reminds me how lucky I am to be married to him. And special recognition goes to my mother-in-law for showing us what true strength is.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? A couple family members for different reasons. And the whole instance at Sandy Hook Elementary school made me ill. And the fact that the NHL owners are locking out the NHL players. I miss my hockey!!

14. Where did most of your money go? Sports for the kids.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Anything involving Jack. He's such a fun, adorable blessing into our lives. And I can't get enough of him. He's at the age right now that I love, and I try to make it a point to see him at least once a month. I feel so lucky to live so close, yet I still feel like we're too far. :)

16. What song will always remind you of 2010? You Don't Know You're Beautiful by One Direction because the kids loved it so and because Phil couldn't stand it.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Happier. It's been an emotional year, but I'm overall happier.

b) thinner or fatter? Thinner. Running has really helped. I don't run in the cold, so that's going to put a damper on things. But even over the summer I made a point to run (and the kids joined me--they even ran their first mile race this fall), and even though I still don't fully enjoy it, I know it's good for me.

c) richer or poorer? Poorer. Mainly because I lost my freelancing job.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Decluttering the house. I'm working on it, but I feel like I should make it more of a priority.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Not enjoying each day for what it's worth.

20. How did you spend Christmas in 2012? We started off at our place with my mother--in-law on Dec. 15-16, then moved to Chicago with my brother, sis-in-law and Jack on the Saturday before Christmas. On Christmas day my parents came over and we did our entire Christmas with them. It was a great way to cap off the holiday season.

21. Did you fall in love in 2012? I'm still madly in love with the husband.

22. What was your favorite TV program?  Modern Family and The New Girl. Most of the trashy things on Bravo, especially Top Chef.

23. What did you do for your birthday in 2012? I don't really remember. That's pretty sad.

24. What was the best book you read? I kept track this year and read more than 60 books. I just tend to fly through them. The one that really stands out is Gone Girl. And I also enjoyed Summerland.
25. What did you want and get? Appreciation for my hours of volunteering at the library. They're wanting to hire me shortly.

26. What did you want and not get? Hockey back in session.

27. What was your favorite film of this year? I don't have the patience to sit through movies, so I didn't see many. I did go see Magic Mike by myself in the theater and loved it.

28. Did you make some new friends this year? Yes. I've made a bunch of really great friends thanks to the PTA. I love knowing women who care so much about our kids.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Hockey.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012? Casually comfortable.

31. What kept you sane? Wine and alcohol in general. :) And a good run followed by a nice shower.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Channing Tatum. Yummy!!

33. What political issue stirred you the most? The entire election campaign really captivated me. I think this was the first time I was completely immersed in all the issues. I wish I could understand why some people believe that others don't deserve the same rights. And I believe that teachers are not paid nearly enough.

34. Who did you miss? I miss getting together with my mom's extended side of the family. We normally got together 1-2 times per year, and grandpa was our glue. But we are planning a family reunion in July 2013, so that should be wonderful.

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012. When people don't care as passionately about the same things you do, try not to get angry with them. I think that's a lesson that both Phil and I need to remember.

Feeling Thankful

It seems as though every year is full if its own hardships and challenges, and this one hasn't disappointed in that regard. I'll share more with my year-end review, but there were highlights, of course, that mainly included a new member of our family: Jack.

LOVE the look on his face!

But with Christmas just a few hours away, I'm reminded how truly important family is. This the first Christmas that we're not celebrating with my mom's extended side of the family, and it's weighing a little heavy on me. I'm a stickler for tradition, and this stings a little. Grandpa left us Dec. 11 last year, and we were able to get together as a group for his memorial service and burial. It's weird to not make the trip down to central Illinois this year.

However, I'm so very grateful to have my brother, my beautiful sister-in-law (who just started a blog on motherhood, yoga, and life in general, so check it out here) and my adorable nephew living in the same country and the same state. We've made an attempt to see them once a month, and some months that works out better than others.

I'm grateful for family in general. The husband has definitely been my rock, and I try to remind him how important he is to us. It's definitely been a trying year for him personally, and it just has reaffirmed to me what a strong family man he is. He has a nurturing soul, and I'm proud to call him mine. We've been trying to make time to spend together, but as we've found, sometimes life gets in the way. I'm hoping to make that more of a priority next year.

The kids, ah the kids! With Sandy Hook fresh in our minds, I just want to grab them and hold onto them forever. Sure, like in my last post, certain days and certain children can prove more challenging than others, but I know I will miss days like this. I know time is fleeting and with every passing day, they are growing and gaining more independence. They don't even want bedtime stories anymore; they would rather read on their own. They need me less and less, and at times it tears at my heart. But it's part of growing up, and I don't want to stifle them. Being a mother is the most challenging but rewarding job I could every imaging having.

We do have a lot to be grateful for, and we've tried as a family to do good, especially in the holiday season. For the 4th straight year, we donated food for Riley's birthday, and this year we topped 100 pounds of food! The director at the food pantry actually remembered Riley from last year. At church, we donated money for Bibles to be given to those who are incarcerated. We helped out the Chicago Sun-Times and their letters to Santa and provided a gift to a 3rd grade boy in the inner city. And then today Phil took the kids to Starbucks for some hot chocolate, and he found that the car in front of him in the drive-thru paid for his food, so he paid it forward to the car behind him. The woman working at the window said that the husband was the 10th car to pay it forward.

So for all the trying times of the year, I'm so grateful for what we have and what we can give others. Merry Christmas.

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This Child

This child of mine tests me.

Celebrating her birthday last month.

She may look sweet and adorable, and she is for the most part. But she is what you'd consider a pre-teen.

She's 9 going on 13, and there are days when I don't know how I'm going to survive the real teenage years. For awhile now, I've told her that when she officially becomes a teenager, I am moving away. She thinks I'm kidding. There are some days that I'm not.

See, I remember what it was like to be a teenage girl. I was full of attitude. I rolled my eyes at parents and at high school coaches (and got in busted by all parties involved). I sprouted off sass so much that my mom washed my mouth out with liquid soap. I talked back to my dad and he lifted me up by the scruff of my shirt and held me up against the wall.

And if turnabout isn't fair play, she's dishing the attitude right back to me. *sigh*

And the poor husband doesn't know what it's like to be around teenaged girls all the time. He doesn't know what he's in for. Just wait for the slammed doors. We've gotten a taste with the whole "life isn't fair" mantra, but this is just the tip of the iceberg. 

On the first day of winter break, this darling child of mine was ushered up to her room for giving us too much attitude. And when we went up there to talk with her, she sassed back, earning her a few more minutes up in her room. And she screamed. And cried. Good times, indeed.

She calmed down, and then all I heard was that I never want to be with her and that I always want to play with Jeremy. Ah, the guilt trip. And I fall for it. Because I felt that way about my mom and my brother, that she favored him (no offense, but she did do his laundry well into his post-college years. Meanwhile I had to pay rent during the summers I was home from college!) I digress. But I believe she knows exactly what she's doing. It doesn't mean it doesn't break my heart. And then she halfheartedly apologized by sighing and saying "Sor-ry."

I know these years will be trying. She's trying to figure out her place in the world. And it doesn't help that she's at a school with kids up through 5th grade. And it doesn't help that she is growing up, whether I like it or not. It happens.

But I will always love her, even as she struggles to find the fine line between independence, asserting herself and following our rules.

I love you, little girl. Don't ever forget that.

Parental Worries

This time last week we learned about the horror involved with the Connecticut school shooting. I admit, when I first heard that some people were shot at a school out east, I didn't think too much of it. In hindsight, how horrible does that sound that hearing of a school shooting doesn't immediately fill us with worry?

But then as I was watching the 11 AM news, the reports coming in were horrifying. I was riveted to the television and couldn't believe what I was hearing. And perhaps the scariest part was hearing that an entire classroom of little kids was unaccounted for. Forgive me for the typical reaction and overused phrase, but that is every parents' worst nightmare.

I broke into tears. Those innocent children lost their lives at a school, which is supposed to be a happy place, full of friends and educators who care for those children like they were their own. Just thinking about what they endured still chokes me up, especially because Jeremy is the age of those 20 children who lost their lives.

I remember where I was when Columbine happened. I was at work, and I remember catching it on the Internet (what can I say--I was a bored editorial assistant back in 1999), and I kept reading that the body count increased every time I hit the "refresh" button. Although I was just a year out of college, the shootings didn't affect me the way Newtown's did.

And I know full well the reason why: it's because I now have children. I pray that I will never know the feeling of losing a child, but we never know what can happen. I joke with the women at the bus stop that I wish we could keep our children in a little bubble so the troubles of the world won't touch them. Whether it's the creepy-looking van driving through the neighborhood that worries parents or the kids on the bus who bully others or heaven forbid something more tragic. 

There are times when I think having young kids is so draining, but I know life will only get more complex and worries will only grow bigger. Just wait until the kids are off on their own with their friends, driving their cars, or even doing things late in the evening all the while not under my careful eye.

I've tried to not read so much about the tragedy in Connecticut, only for my own sanity. We did broach the subject with the kids the Sunday after it happened, because I feared they would hear something about it. (And they did--at church of all places!) But we gave them a vague reference about it saying that something bad happened in a school in Connecticut, but everything is fine out here and you have nothing to worry about. I did  say if they had questions about it, I'd rather they talk to me. Neither kid did, and I don't believe the schools have said anything to the kids directly. Jeremy's teacher said nothing was said in hers, although Riley said her class now locks the door whenever they're in the room.

I'm grateful for all that the schools do, from not overly worrying the kids to practicing Code Red drills. Although I believe Riley knows what the drills are for, Jeremy insists that they're for when a stranger enters the school or there's a snake on the loose.

 My sweet cherubs sleeping. 
They are my most precious gift ever.

 

But on a more serious note, my kids are my most precious gift, and I'm sure most parents say the same thing about their own. I grieve for the parents who lost their dear children and those whose family members were teachers and educators, and I pray that they get through the holidays the best they know how. The few stories that I've read take my breath away, and every time I watch this video, I'm moved to tears.

If you haven't done so already, hug your kids a little tighter, tell your family that you love them, and be grateful for every day. Because I'm sure all those family members out in Connecticut would give anything to have just one more day, just one more hour to do that to their own.