Taking Time Out

I usually focus on the living-in-the-now, but that changed last night.

See, yesterday was Phil's birthday, and as a joke I bought him a cable to our camcorder. We had been missing the cable for awhile, so we weren't able to view videos on the television. Yes, we could've looked through the viewfinder on the camcorder, but we wanted to see the video much larger. (It was a joke gift because it only cost 26 cents. Seriously.)

Phil checked it out and played some video on the television. And yes, I lost it. I cried. We watched the videos of the kids' blowing out candles for their birthdays, there was another of Riley helping her younger cousin navigate the stairs (she was 3 and he was about 1.5), but the one that got me was with Jeremy (yeah, go figure!).

I was lying on his floor, next to his crib, and he was lying with me. I'm guessing he was about 18 months old. He was playing with my hair as I read him some stories. I had no idea Phil was there taping, and when I finished reading, J got up and walked over to Phil and said, "Dada!" He then walked back over to me and laid down on me, as if to give me a big hug. Yeah, it really got to me.

And then it made me miss how little the kids once were. How time goes by in such an instant. I try so hard to cherish the time I have with them, for I know it's fleeting. J starts kindy next year, and it's all-day kindy, so it makes me scared to think about that. Maybe scared isn't the right word.

My kids are my life. I NEVER thought I'd be one of these stay-at-home mom types. I thought I'd go off to college, get a job, have kids and work. And I did that with Riley. And then I was pregnant with #2 and thought there's so much more to life than just spending time with my kids on the weekends. I didn't want someone else raising them. And I'm so grateful that I'm able to do it. Some days are better than others, and other days I have to remind myself that I wanted to stay home. But overall, I wouldn't give up these years for anything.

Riley and J were both off of school today for teacher's institute, so I thought we do some fun stuff. The library had a firetruck and ambulance come by today, so we did that this morning and then headed over to a park. I was amazed at the number of moms who were either texting or chatting on their phone at the park. Do they not realize how precious the time is with their kids? Do they not know how quickly time flies by? Now, I'm guilty of chatting with other moms at the park, but I make a point to have my attention focused on the kids.

Time just flies by way too fast. Enjoy your kids every day. No matter what.